Christian Marriages are under a severe
onslaught as our enemy, Satan, knows that the successful family unit defeats
his evil attempts to destroy the individual members. The old adage: ‘the family that prays
together, stays together’ still applies today, and those families who enjoy
family devotions with prayer and Bible study are greatly blessed by the Lord
Jesus Christ. He helps them to avoid
pitfalls; to have open discussions; to minister to one another and to grow
strong together. Sadly, not too many
families are practicing this needful daily worship, and this gives Satan many
victims.
Amos 3 v 3 says: “Can two walk together,
except they be agreed?” Before you
embark on marriage you should each make
a list of your priorities concerning the direction you understand your lives to
take. Important issues and decisions
concerning religion, finances, children, wills, where you will live, dreams and
visions of the future, goals as individuals, business arrangements must be
fully discussed, understood and agreed upon before the marriage is entered
into. So many people have foolishly
said, “Our love is strong enough to overcome any problem!” The divorce courts are full of statistics
that give the lie to that premise.
The correct line
of authority is:
GOD THE FATHER
JESUS CHRIST
HUSBAND
WIFE
CHILDREN
PASTOR OR
MINISTER OFCHURCH
BOSS
OTHER FAMILY
SPORTS
ACTIVITIES
FRIENDS
SERVANTS
ANIMALS
TELEVISION
Use the above
list to assess where the problems may lie, and gradually correct your
priorities. Do not attempt to do it all
at once, as this will lead to arguments and division in the home. Take one area at a time and pray for
guidance, and for the family to co-operate with you.
If you are a
workaholic and your boss is more important that your relationship with Jesus,
then Jesus is not the Lord of your life!
Your boss is the lord of your life – you cannot serve God and Mammon. Perhaps the television set rules in your
home. Or the computer/internet holds
central place. Or the dogs
dominate. You may be very active in the
church and be substituting this for a real, vibrant relationship with the Lord. Does Sunday golf stop you from being in the
church meetings? Does your pastor
manipulate you into church activities that break your togetherness as a
family? Whenever this line of authority
is broken, serious problems will occur.
b)
Giving honour. It is very important for a wife to be
appreciated and praised regularly. Your
wife will only feel secure when you are letting her know that you honour her
above all others. Jesus said in the
Sermon on the Mount that if a man even looks upon a woman with lust in his
heart he has already committed adultery with her. This includes fantasies, TV advertisements,
movies and videos, secretaries and business women, your neighbour’s wife or
daughter. Before you reject what I am
saying as impossible to achieve, remember with God all things are possible. It takes faith, discipline, prayer and
determination. As Don Francisco sang so
beautifully: “Do you love your wife, for
her and for your children are you laying down your life?” Jesus said, “Come, follow me.” He wants you to be as He was and is. If it were not possible, it would not be
written in the Word of God.
c)
The wife is the weaker
vessel. A woman is usually physically
smaller and weaker than a man and should be handled very delicately and
gently. When she knows that she is
precious to you, her response will amaze you.
She needs you to be her spiritual leader, to guide her in her growth and
maturity as a Christian. Spend time in
prayer and fellowship with the Lord together to reap many blessings. The strongest prayers are those prayed by a
man and wife in harmony with Jesus. You
are both joint heirs of God’s grace. She
may be the weaker vessel but she has the same spiritual inheritance as you
do. The closer you are to Jesus, the
closer you will be to one another.
d)
Be ye all of one mind. This is another way of saying ‘be in
agreement with one another’. Be agreed
upon which church you will be married in, and where you will fellowship after
your marriage. If you are from different
church backgrounds you need to find some common ground or your submission will
be futile, both to the Lord and to the marriage. Many marriages flounder on this point. Do not be fooled into thinking it will sort
itself out after you are married. It
won’t! It will become an issue that will
whip and destroy the very fabric of your lives.
If you cannot agree, it is better not to marry than to make vows before
the Lord that will one day be broken. If
you are in a marriage that is going wrong because of spiritual differences,
please both get off your high horses and level the playing field. Make sure that you are both born again and
know Jesus in a personal relationship.
Check the list of submission and start putting it right. Stop attending church! Get down before the Lord and ask His
direction for where to fellowship in a place where Jesus is exalted. Be led of the Holy Spirit. Give Satan the boot. Get help from an independent pastor i.e. from
a church where you are both unknown.
Listen to each other. Be ye all
of one mind!
e)
Having compassion. Compassion is not pity it is an entering into
the sufferings or troubles of another person and taking hold of that burden and
sharing the load. When you love one
another, but problems arise and each wants to blame the other and hard words
are about to be spoken, ask Jesus for His compassion to fill you both and help
you to see the other person’s point of view.
f)
Love as brethren, be pitiful,
be courteous. Another word for pitiful
is to have mercy. Jesus was most
merciful to sinners and died in their place, our place, and we need to be like
Him. Husbands must show mercy to their
wives, understanding the pressures that may be upon them, especially if they
are working and making a home. Husbands
need to be there to assist in all aspects of the home, in domestic chores and
with the children. Wives have just as
stressful a time at the office, but they do not have the luxury of playing golf
with the boys when there is much to be done at home. Be courteous to your wife, treat her with the
manners you reserve for your boss and other dignitaries. Do not take her for granted, and treat her as
a doormat or your welcome might be suspended!
Marriage is a partnership where both parties are required to give 100%
of who they are to achieve the blessing that God has promised to those who obey
Him.
Prayer: Heavenly Father many marriages are under stress and strain. Thank You for the guidance You give through Your Word. Help us to apply these words to our own situation and begin to see changes. In Jesus' name. Amen.