Scripture: Acts 9 v 1 - 8: "And Saul, yet breathing out threatenings and slaughter against the disciples of the Lord, went unto the high priest,
2 And desired of him letters to Damascus to the synagogues, that if he found any of this way, whether they were men or women, he might bring them bound unto Jerusalem.
3 And as he journeyed, he came near Damascus: and suddenly there shined round about him a light from heaven:
4 And he fell to the earth, and heard a voice saying unto him, Saul, Saul, why persecutest thou me?
5 And he said, Who art thou, Lord? And the Lord said, I am Jesus whom thou persecutest: it is hard for thee to kick against the pricks.
6 And he trembling and astonished said, Lord, what wilt thou have me to do? And the Lord said unto him, Arise, and go into the city, and it shall be told thee what thou must do.
7 And the men which journeyed with him stood speechless, hearing a voice, but seeing no man.
8 And Saul arose from the earth; and when his eyes were opened, he saw no man: but they led him by the hand, and brought him into Damascus."
I saw this on social media yesterday and was really moved by it. The author is at the bottom of the page.
Paul murdered Christians and thought God loved him for it.
He was certain. Righteous. Committed.
And he was serving his religion the entire time, not God.
How do you know you're not doing the same thing right now?
Paul was breathing murderous threats.
Not thinking them. Breathing them.
Murder was the oxygen in his lungs.
He dragged Christians from their homes. Watched them get stoned. Held the coats of the men throwing rocks.
And he called it righteousness.
"I am a Pharisee." "I am righteous." "I am serving God."
He completed the sentence. And he was wrong about everything.
Then God knocked him off his horse.
A light from heaven. Brighter than the sun. At noon.
He fell. Not knelt. Fell.
And a voice said: "Saul, why do you persecute me?"
Saul, the man who was certain about everything, asked: "Who are you, Lord?"
Because he didn't know.
The man who thought he knew God didn't recognize His voice.
Jesus said: "I AM Jesus, whom you are persecuting."
There it is. I AM.
The same name God gave Moses.
And Saul realized: everything he thought he was
Pharisee, righteous, servant of God, was wrong.
It blinded him.
For three days, Saul sat in darkness.
No food. No water. Just grief.
Not for his sight. For his identity.
Because "I am Saul" became "I am nothing."
"I am righteous" became "I am a murderer."
"I am serving God" became "I am His enemy."
Everything he built died on that road.
On the third day, God sent Ananias.
A Christian. One of the people Saul came to arrest.
And God said: "Go to him. He is my chosen instrument."
Not "he was my enemy."
Not "he's trying to change."
"He IS mine."
Present tense. New identity. Complete replacement.
Ananias said: "Brother Saul."
Not terrorist. Not murderer. Not enemy.
Brother.
Because that's what he was now.
Not because he earned it. Because God said so.
And scales fell from his eyes. He could see.
But what he saw wasn't the same.
Before: heretics who needed to die.
Now: brothers who needed to be loved.
Before: I am a Pharisee.
Now: I am His.
Same man. Different identity. Different master.
Different everything.
Paul spent the rest of his life being persecuted by the people who used to follow him.
Beaten. Stoned. Imprisoned. Shipwrecked.
He lost everything.
And he said: "I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ."
Not "I added Jesus to my life."
"Everything is loss."
The old identity. The old righteousness. The old certainty.
All of it. Gone.
Because when you meet I AM, everything else becomes scales.
Here's the question:
What are you certain about right now that you're completely wrong about?
What identity are you clinging to that needs to die?
Paul was certain he was righteous. Certain he was serving God.
He was wrong about everything.
You're certain about things right now. About who you are. About what matters.
How do you know you're not just as wrong as Paul?
You don't.
Until you get knocked off your horse.
Modern Christians want conversion to be easy.
A prayer. A decision. A moment.
They want to keep their identity and just add Jesus to it.
"I am successful, plus I go to church."
"I am independent, plus I pray sometimes."
That's not conversion. That's consumerism.
Real conversion is what happened to Paul.
You get knocked off your horse.
You go blind.
You sit in darkness while everything you thought you were dies.
And then God rebuilds you.
Not as an improved version of yourself.
As something entirely new.
Paul didn't say "I am a Pharisee who believes in Jesus."
He said "I am His. Everything else is garbage."
Not addition. Replacement.
Not "I am who I was, plus Jesus."
"I am His. Nothing else matters."
Your problem is the same as Paul's.
You're defining yourself by something other than God.
"I am successful."
"I am independent."
"I am right."
"I am a good person."
And you're certain. Just like Paul was certain.
But certainty doesn't equal truth.
Paul was certain. And he was murdering Christians.
What are you doing right now that you're certain is right?
Stop adding Jesus to your life.
Stop keeping your old identity and just becoming a better version of it.
Let it die.
Let "I am successful" die so "I am His" can live.
Let "I am certain" die so "I can see" can begin.
Because that's the only identity that survives.
Not what you built. Not what you accomplished. Not who you thought you were.
Just: whose you are.
Paul was a murderer who met God.
And God made him an apostle.
Not because Paul earned it.
Because God said: "You are mine now."
And Paul spent the rest of his life proving it.
In prison. In chains. In persecution.
"I am His. Everything else is loss."
That was enough.
Is it enough for you?
Or are you still Paul? Still certain? Still blind?
Still serving your religion instead of God?
Get knocked off your horse.
Sit in the darkness.
Let the scales fall.
Before you run out of time.
Follow @SlayStupidity for more on identity, conversion, and what it costs to let the old you die.
Not theory. Scars.